Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
You are on the road.
I'm on top of one of the airships making good use of my looky-loo.
Much like you've seen on some of your other travels, empty and charred villages.
Excuse me, are you Lara Moonbrook?
Please don't take this the wrong way. You don't seem like you're a professional soldier.
I'm not. I actually joined the militia because of you and what them decimators of dragons are doing.
Wow. Well, thank you. It's all going to go super well, don't you think?
We now see the full force of the Cult of the Dragon.
Mercenaries, wizards, undead, and hundreds of dragons.
Shit.
Are you ready?
I don't really think anybody could be ready for this, but I'm here with my friends
and we're going to make it happen.
What we can plan is potions of invisibility and get you as close to the location as we can.
As you begin to disappear, he says, good luck.
You belay down as the shield lets free.
A giant falls directly in front of you and you nimbly leap up and over top of it.
Guys, we're so fucking nimble.
Just so goddamn nimble.
A blue dragon falls to the ground with a bronze dragon on top of it, tearing it apart.
You make it to the mountainside.
The war raging on behind you, you enter one of the tunnels leading into the well of dragons
and you hear voices coming from down the halls up ahead of you.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
I am here.
I have adopted my married name again.
Everything is fine.
Mom and dad aren't fighting anymore.
And I play Thea Mastavia.
Also with me, Tom Laird.
I'm just very thrilled that that week long cliffhanger has been wrapped up
nice and early in the episode.
It's real good.
I play Flint Firebeard.
And Carla Johnson.
I wish I had a quip, but I don't.
I play new Laura Moonbrook.
Sometimes not having a quip and saying you don't is just as good as having one.
How's everybody feeling today?
Like I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Like, I mean, I'm not, but I am.
I'm excited about it.
But I'm excited.
This is like, we're here and it's happening.
Yeah.
I mean, this might not be it, but like, this is definitely the beginning of it.
Yes.
All of it.
Not Stephen King's it.
Like, they're no clowns.
Oh, my God.
Don't give them ideas.
Better not be a killer clown, Russ.
I'm going to be so mad if there is.
We get in there.
Severin's fully in clown makeup.
Pennywise.
So this whole time, Tiamat has actually been Pennywise.
With five clown heads.
Yeah.
Somehow less scary than actual like the normal Pennywise.
I don't know.
Maybe she's like in a portal and she's like, there are baby dragons down here.
Come on.
And then she gets each one of us to come into the portal with her.
Yeah, it's exactly that.
I mean, that would get me to go into a weird portal.
So like you roll an insight check DC 46.
Oh, y'all got to go in.
You trust this weird dragon clown.
Would that get Flint in there or would that get Tom in there?
I mean, it would probably get Tom in there.
Tom has no wilderness experience.
Look, he's like, no, I would die in the wilderness.
No, it would not go well for me.
Especially with clown dragons.
Geez.
Clown dragon was like, I've got a lot of yard down here.
I'd be in there in a moment.
I mean, I've always kind of hated camping.
So I've never really gone out of my way to learn things about the outdoors
because it wasn't that interesting.
If you want Tom to learn how to wilderness better,
come join us over on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And we're setting up goals where we're getting Tom wilderness experience.
No, we're not doing that.
I was going to say, are you going to choose like a personal struggle we're each having?
Like Amy's going to pick up her French again.
Once we hit $350, Amy has to commit to a French course.
Please feel free to test her.
I like this.
It's bettering ourselves with the assistance of our patrons.
I mean, I've been meaning to start doing yoga again,
so that could be a goal for me.
A stretch goal, if you will.
Carla, what about you?
Oh, you're perfect.
You don't have to work.
No, that's what I mean.
I am so wildly imperfect.
It could be any number of things.
I don't know.
What do you got?
Roast me.
Don't roast me.
I can't handle it.
No.
Kindly roast me.
Roast you.
Gently, lightly toast me.
You can't wear your hair up in a bun anymore.
You have to wear your beautiful hair down all the time.
I'd have to wash it more than once a week.
See?
It's probably good.
So for Carla, we'd be buying shampoo.
Yeah.
Because her budget's going to go through the roof.
It would.
It's very expensive shampoo.
I believe it.
And Carla's got a lot of hair right now.
So aside from what we need to all work on as ourselves,
patrons get an episode dedicated to them every now and again.
Or an episode shouted out to them.
If you're listening to last episode.
I got edited out.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Wow.
Let's shout this one out to someone.
Shout it out.
We're shouting it out to ALex Kirk.
Thanks ALex Kirk.
You rock.
Okay guys, there's danger coming.
I know.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
Oh, it was serious.
You have just entered a caldera leading into the well of the dragons.
You are presently uncertain for how long.
Still invisible.
And you, taking a quick survey of this tunnel,
see that it is a heavily used tunnel.
There are lots of footsteps leading to and from this way in.
You hear voices echoing from down the halls up ahead of you.
And as you enter there is a choice for you.
You can go left or you can go right.
Do we assume we're heading like into the heart of the volcano?
Yeah.
Directionality wise, yes.
All evil things happen at the heart of the volcano.
I mean just if you're going to have a lair in the, in a,
is it a dead volcano I guess?
Like you want to be like in the dead volcano, right?
Ask Dr. Evil.
How far is that?
Obviously I know we're going to go through tunnels and stuff,
but like as the crow flies,
what is my sense of the distance kind of to the middle?
Like a mile or half a mile?
Okay.
Great.
A kilometer.
These are all in feet.
Yeah, no, no, I just like, I mean, because a mountain,
i.e. a volcano, could be enormous, right?
So it could be like, we're going 20 miles to get to the center.
It is not, it is not that far.
Thank you for answering my question.
Ish, give or take.
Yeah, no, no, that's, that's cool.
Don't quote me.
I won't.
We've been traveling for more than half a mile, Russ.
We should be there by now.
So it's not like 300 feet like the,
from the entrance of Mount Doom to the pit
where they can throw the ring in?
Yeah.
Negative.
Okay.
So do you, do you think that you have an idea of which way to go, Nularaaaa?
Um.
With your tracker ranger power?
Well, see, normally if there was one dragon or even just a few,
yes, because they're like my greater favorite enemy.
So I would be able to use that information to know where they're coming from.
But there's fucking hell of dragons outside.
Plus we're not trying, like, hopefully there ain't no dragon in here yet, right?
Like we're trying to find Severin before TMA gets here.
A real big bad dragon shows up.
So unfortunately I don't know that my,
like that skill will not help us like direction right now.
Can I look on the walls and see if there's a sign?
Oh, good.
A lot of people using this got it.
They might need to know where to go.
Got to be clear.
Maybe it says mess hall this way and heart of evil lair that way.
I don't know.
Summoning room that way.
You don't see a sign, but you hear footsteps coming from both directions now
towards your present location.
I think this should not make me uninvisible,
but maybe tell me if it is going to make me uninvisible.
But I don't think it should.
But I would like to enact my armor of vulnerability
so that I am immune to non-magical damage for 10 minutes.
Yeah, sure.
Once this special action is used, it can't be used again until next dawn.
So yeah, you're on a 10 minute clock now.
Let's pull out all the fucking stops.
So what does Nulara do to enact this?
Because I don't think we've ever used this before.
I've never used it before.
I was waiting to use all of my things in the final battle.
I'm still going to forget about half of them,
but I did read my character sheet today.
You're welcome, teammates.
I do my patented five snap move.
And then it activates.
To you, your armor begins to glow.
The runes on it begin to illuminate, and it goes back within itself.
As you see coming down the halls from one direction,
five cult members from another direction,
three guard drakes, and four more cult members.
How much of the hallway are they taking up?
Like, is there a little room that we could shuffle off to the side
and maybe overhear them talk about where they're coming from
and where they might be going to?
The hallways about 20 feet wide.
Yeah, it's a big, big lava tube.
Okay, so hold on.
So we are in like, essentially a foyer
and there are two tunnels coming off of it, right?
We just stay where we are.
We could be able to hear either them talk about something
or just wait until they pass if we stick to the walls, guys.
Okay, I like, yeah.
Okay, good.
Doesn't have to be A or B.
Pick mystery option C.
I like it.
You guys hug up against the walls,
and these cult members and drakes converge on this central point,
and they are speaking draconic.
Perfect, I speak draconic.
Me too.
So everybody except Flint knows what's going on right now.
But I mean, Bort can speak that shit knees in my head.
Sure, Bort's relaying some information to you.
I mean, it's all hands on deck, Russ.
This is the last fucking kick of the can here.
No, it's good.
And Donnie can like do the psychic thing, you know.
It makes sense.
You guys all understand what's happening.
There's no secrets.
It's fine.
Just go kill the Tiamat dragon queen.
Perfect.
You see the cultists walk up to the other group,
and they begin talking.
Hey there, bud.
So they took the sacrifices out there,
and it's all going to be real good.
We're getting real, real comfortable in this new abode
and these new positions that we have here.
When Tiamat gets here, I hope we get all the things
that they've been promising us.
Now, I know we've been talking about this kind of a lot.
Once these sacrifices go down,
that's going to be a real big mess.
I don't know Tiamat's real position
on keeping things too clean.
Yeah, well, that wasn't my job before.
No, it's going to be fine.
Because we're so close to this,
I think all of our hard works are going to be paid off
real nice.
Uh, we were promised like gold and riches
and, uh, and treasure and stuff.
Tiamat will take care of all of you.
The boss has told me that Tiamat,
she's real good.
She's real nice.
Nothing to worry about here.
So yeah, sacrifices are in place.
All is good.
So what did you think about that, uh,
that stew I cooked up there the other night?
Nobody, nobody said too much about it.
Yeah, I mean, it was real flavorful.
Yeah, flavorful.
I get Flynn and Nularaaa's attention
and I gesture to the right tunnel
and I slowly start to move to there
because it just seems like they're just milling around.
So the right was just the cultists?
Yes.
Because there's something to me
that makes me feel like they are higher up
and would be like coming from the important place.
So I had the same instinct was to go that way.
Well, and also if they have sacrifices
and sacrifices are needed,
if they're needed,
if we can like fuck up their sacrifices somehow
that will hopefully give us some time
or fuck the whole thing up.
Some something.
So I'm gesturing and I'm like,
like really panting.
I'd be like, shh, creepy walking.
Not creepy walking.
As you get in behind this group,
everybody make a stealth check.
My rollin' lights out so far.
That's a 20 but not a...
Oh, I got a 10.
17.
You begin to walk away
and you feel the effects of the potion wearing off
and as you are rounding the corner
Thea, your foot knocks some rocks loose
and the guard trick turns quickly
and sees you duck down the hall
and begins chasing after you.
Now hold on.
Hold on.
Wait a moment.
Wait a second.
So he sees me like...
Oh, fuck.
Never mind.
You're like translucent, I guess,
or like opaque because it's like wearing off.
I thought maybe he just saw like
the swish of my cloak or my foot.
Never mind.
What I was going to do doesn't...
I mean, it's like a 20 foot cavern
that you guys are walking through.
It's not like you guys are walking down narrow hallways.
Yeah, I know.
It's going to alter self to make me look like a drake
but whatever's good.
Yeah, no.
He sees you and lets out a bark
and that alerts the other cultists
who begin coming after you down the hall.
Roll for initiative.
Fuckin' sweet.
I was going to be so sad if we didn't get to fight
while I couldn't get hurt.
11.
It's so brutal.
19.
15.
Bad roll.
Bad roll, my friend.
Sorry.
Preparing for battle,
we zoom back outside to chaos of the charging cult force
running headlong into Zaz Tam's undead army.
The zombies and wights and ghosts
all putting up a valiant battle
taking down equal number cultists to their own forces.
Zaz Tam's red wizards high above in the airships
fire down rippling energy
clearing the way for their own army.
Cutting and carving their way through,
dragons begin swooping,
blasting them with acid and fire and ice,
scooping them up in their giant maws
and throwing them across the battlefield.
We see in the sky,
as the airship containing some of the red wizards
is being charged by a young black dragon
when suddenly from above
is crushed and charged down by an armored blue dragon.
It is my friend and Sir Lygard Willidan.
He screams a giant merciless battle roar
as he plummets down to the ground
atop my friend driving the black dragon to the earth
met with a giant crushing explosion.
Okay, we're ready.
We rolled initiative.
Let's do this.
Let's fuck up some dudes.
Flint, you're up first.
So are we like around the corner?
Yes, you are around the corner.
As they're rushing,
begin rushing towards you,
they are 30 to the closest,
60 to the farthest person.
Yeah, I guess I'm gonna,
I'm gonna,
gonna run towards the guy that is leading the pack
and just like,
just slide kind of past him
and give him a big old axe chop as I'm doing that.
Nice.
That's going to be the guard Drake.
Perfect.
Well, we started from the bottom.
Now we're here.
Let's do it.
It's accurate now.
Your Drake shots are accurate now.
So that's a 20 but not critical.
You slide and you drag your axe along the side of it.
15 damage.
And it begins bleeding out the side of it.
I kind of get up to my feet
and as I do that,
I give like a big old uppercut swing with my axe
right in it,
right in his chopper.
28.
You get up to your feet
and it looks at you as you swing your axe up.
That is 13 damage.
And through its jaw
and it splits its head open,
gray matter going onto the ceiling
and it slumps to the ground.
And I'm going to throw my Dwarven Thrower
at I'll say one of the cultists.
That is a 16.
Your Dwarven Thrower hits the center of this cultist chest.
One of the largest looking of the cultists.
So 16 damage in total.
It's got studded armor that crumples underneath
and winds him as your thrower comes back to you.
It is some of the cultists turns
and they stop just beyond where this one was hit
and three of them from beneath a cloak
begin to unfurl wings.
Three of them beneath one cloak?
Like they're trying to sneak into an R-rated movie.
Like are they one on top of the other?
We thought it was one cultist
but it's really three minions.
It's really winged something.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Le badis!
Banana!
No, three individual cultists
removing their cloaks,
unfurl wings
and begin to fly towards you
with scimitar in hand.
What the hell are they?
I always assume cultists are humans.
Me too.
That's very race?
No, it's something-ist of us.
It's something, yeah.
One rushes forward and slices at Thea.
Its blade goes wide on both wide arcing swings.
One swings at Flint and doesn't hit.
The other one slices twice at Nularaaaa,
hitting once but the damage glints off
and the runes glow where you are struck
and it absorbs the energy of the strike.
Dope.
Is it like Black Panther's suit
where you can store the kinetic energy
and then blow it back at people?
That is sort of what I pictured
just as the runes glow
and then it kind of dissipates.
It looks rad as fuck, you guys.
Yeah, it sure has helped us.
Thank God I'm not invisible anymore, right?
Right.
Nularaaaa and Dany are off.
Okay.
I have got Dragon Slayer out
and I guess I'm going to go for that one
that just tried to go for me.
So that is a 25.
You slice up and into the air
and knock this winged creature down to the ground.
11 damage.
And it is prone in front of you.
Going to go for him again, 21.
As the creature falls and hits the ground,
you drive Dragon Slayer straight into his chest.
That is 9 damage.
And you hear ribs crack
as he lets out a scream of pain.
Sweet.
Then my boy, Dany, is going to come in.
Do you guys remember that Dany has two attacks?
I didn't, but he does.
No.
That's awesome, though.
He is going to try to...
You know what?
The guy's prone,
so I think he should actually just fight him
because that makes sense.
That is an 11.
11 does not hit.
Actually, no, he's prone.
He gets advantage,
so you should get advantage on both of those rolls.
Oh, that one's better.
That's 22.
Okay.
And that one was 9, so it was still terrible.
So one bite.
He chomps deep into the neck of this winged creature.
And 10 damage.
It lights out.
Sweet.
Some more cultists turns,
and these ones are on foot.
They rush forward and two of them move to attack.
Rolling at disadvantage because I have my fucking cloak on.
Flint, the two that rush towards you
are swinging wildly, not connecting with you.
Two coming at Flint.
Two strikes connect with their scimitars.
You take 12 slashing damage.
Due to me being a heavy armor master,
I will take three less damage than the 12 you initially assigned me.
And one trying to avenge his friend
runs to Nulara and strikes at her.
But again, when the scimitar connects,
the damage is absorbed into the armor of invulnerability.
Thea.
It's my turn?
Yeah.
Okay.
Who's left over here?
Six on foot, two in the air.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to eldritch blast.
I can direct three beams.
So I'm going to direct two beams
in front of these two posers in front of me
that are just doing wild moves, but nothing else.
And then one of the flying creatures.
But before I do that, I call out Guacamole.
I need you, girl.
So Guac is out and ready to fucking party.
Roll her into the initiative.
Okay, here.
She is going to be directly after me.
Thea's eldritch blasts come out of her hands,
a purple luminescence that flies towards her attackers.
The first.
Oh, it's an add 20.
Strikes with an impressive force,
knocking the winged creature down to the ground.
The second.
26.
And third.
Third one is going to be 26.
You guys are doing it.
Love it.
Oh my God.
The end of the thing.
Amy finally learns how to roll a d20.
Very exciting for her.
Strike into their attackers, knocking them off bAlydince.
But they correct themselves and charge back into battle.
Now y'all get him, Guac.
She is going to slash with her talons.
She just looks terrifying.
She rolled an eight.
They are terrified.
Wouldn't you be if a big owl came out of nowhere?
There's an owl.
And then it is the big guy's turn who took the hammer to the chest.
And he too, from underneath a cloak, sprouts wings and flies directly towards Flint,
almost following the hammer back to him.
Swings at you with his short sword.
So you're going to take six piercing damage
and seven acid damage.
Oh, that's fun.
As the short sword strikes into you as he flies to and past you.
Flint, since that guy delivered himself right to me,
I mean, I might as well just hack away at him.
It's like a 29.
As he's flying towards you, you catch him with your axe.
All right, so that's 11 damage on the first attack.
Bring him down to the ground and begin laying into him.
A 25, 11 more damage on the second attack.
And a 13.
Does not hit.
He is still alive, but probably wishing that he wasn't right now.
As it is the winged cultist's turn, one of them stands back up and takes off with its wings
to come and attack via.
It slashes out at you again wildly, but connecting with one hit,
ending your advantage that the cloak gives you.
And you take six slashing damage and three cold damage.
The other flighted cultist gets a nat 20 on Nulara.
That doesn't fucking matter.
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
You'll get to kill me eventually, Russ.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, it's coming, Russ, it's coming.
Patience, patience.
I got to find the word magic in here.
Magic.
Also, fun to finally see that fucking armor in action.
It's pretty badass.
Strikes into you with the scimitar and it seems like flames are coming up from the strikes,
but still a no damage dealt.
Nulara.
Ha ha.
I mean, obviously I'm going to attack that guy because he's all up in my business.
Uh, 18.
Yes.
13 damage.
So your strike clips the wing of this creature.
Okay, one more.
Uh, no, probably not.
Only a 13.
Then my boy, he'll just give a little chompy chomp.
Oh, and he does it this time.
It was a 25.
Yes.
What a good boy he is.
That is 10 damage.
Oh, Donnie.
Donnie.
He was embarrassed.
He missed twice to the prone guy last time.
And it falls to the ground as Donnie catches it midair and crushes its spine in his mouth.
Oh yeah, he does.
Damn, Donnie.
Vicious.
I love it.
Who else is nearby?
What about the guy that was near me?
Who else can he spine crush?
Well, there's three, three dudes around Flint.
There's one walking dude near you.
So there is another guy near you.
Okay.
Well, I guess Donnie will try and bite him.
I'm not going to come like kill the guy that you just killed.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, I'm not going to Salazar.
Also, where is that dude?
But I mean, in the order of things, that guy is up before I'm up again.
So like, if you did happen to kill him, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
Dude, he's like gurgling on the ground.
I'm just saying he's probably going to bust out some sort of crazy blood magic
when Russ gets his next turn with him.
But now you said that it seems like cheating somehow for me to go.
Yeah, that doesn't seem right.
So he'll do the other guy that's just wandering around, I guess.
Donnie's going to try and bite him.
He's minding his own business.
That is a 19.
So that is eight damage to him.
He takes a huge chunk out of this guy's side as he yells and it echoes down the hall.
The two that are on Flint, one of them strikes you with his scimitar
and you take six slashing damage.
Of the two that are on you, Thea, one of them strikes you with a natural 20
and you will take 12.
Okay, I took my damage.
Look at me.
21 points of damage already.
We're in the mouth of the motherfucking cave.
One of the able-bodied cultists begins running down the leftmost tunnel
and it is your turn.
Well, good.
I'm going to kill him.
I'm going to hit him with Guiding Bolt.
Oh, that's a fun one.
I'm going to make a range spell attack for 21.
4d6 radiant damage.
10 damage, 10 radiant damage.
A flash of light comes out from your hands and strikes this cultist in the back
and his skin begins to boil as he lets out a whimpered cry and falls to the ground.
And now also, he's totally glowy and a dim mystic light is coming from him
and the next attack roll made against him has advantage.
That's fun.
It sounded like Russ said he was dead, but was that not the case?
Was he dead?
I mean, his skin bubbled and he fell to the ground.
I didn't get that either, Amy.
I just thought he had fallen flat.
I mean, you don't know that he's dead, so you don't know if he's dead.
Well, you can kick a man while he's dead.
Sure, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, you would think any attack roll would have advantage against him then.
Gwak.
Gwak is going to...
What's left?
Like, what's happening here?
So I've got a couple guys at my feet, don't I?
Yeah.
All right, Gwak's going to try for one of them again.
I say, okay, girl, you can do it.
Come on, just focus, just focus.
She rolls a 21.
Good girl.
So this is slashing damage.
She gets 2d6 plus one, so it's eight.
She sinks her talons into this cultist and begins lifting him off the ground
and drops him to the ground, flaying his shoulders as she does so.
The gurgling cultists on the ground below Flint's feet, you hear a rumble come from his chest
and a plume of acid comes out of his mouth and towards you.
Oh, God.
That's a 24, so that's going to be 22 acid damage that comes to your face.
Oh, hey there.
Welcome to the middle part.
Is that what that's called?
The middle part.
It's our podcast within a podcast where we talk about different hairstyles.
That's right.
Oh, good one.
Hey, it's me, your dungeon master, Russ More with all these other friends.
Just some randos.
Just random friends.
We just wandered in.
This is still a new thing for me to have other people do this part,
so you can introduce yourselves if you'd like to.
They probably already know who we are.
I don't even know why I introduced myself in this middle part
because I've already done so,
and they've already listened for at least half an hour.
Hey, it's me, the same guy you've been listening to for the past half hour,
just in case you've forgotten and you have some memento kind of thing happening.
Oh, is there a memento situation?
This is probably why I didn't have you guys in this part.
Probably.
Welcome together.
Thanks for joining us for episode 76 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Into the Well, part one.
If you're liking what you're listening to so far, and we really hope you are,
why don't you come over and visit us on Patreon?
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon.
Nope, still no.
No, son of a bitch.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
You gotta say it with confidence.
Ah, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Over there, we have an amazing community filled with awesome people who support us
and who we love so dearly and help make this podcast what it is.
And also other stuff for you.
A community and other episodes you can listen to and other content you can see.
And just like, you know, you can see our dumb faces once a month if you want.
I don't recommend it.
This is true.
But no, no, we do have dumb faces.
I love how that's the sell for gook hang always for Carla.
It's like you can just see our dumb faces.
Well, it's certainly not for the content.
Well, yeah, there's, I mean, very rarely good content in the Google Hangout,
but it is fun.
Oh, it's always gold.
You can chat with us about D&D or other.
Mostly it's just us talking about like pop culture nonsense, but whatever.
It's kind of just you get to hang out with us like friends.
Yeah, and we are.
We're all like friends.
And you can cat chat with everybody else in Patreon in there.
You can cat chat.
There's lots of cats.
People seem to prefer dogs more so, but there are several people named Cat.
Yep, Cat or Cathy or all those sorts of people.
So Patreon just for a dollar a month gets you into those bonus episodes.
Two dollars gets you that gook hang and it kind of goes up from there.
But if you're unable to join us on Patreon,
there are still other ways that you can help us out.
Not only by listing because we certainly appreciate that.
But if you can't commit to the monthly pledge of Patreon,
there are ratings and reviews that you can do to help out the show that put us
in front of more eyes, more people and move us up on the old charts,
if that matters, or just send us something that you kind of like about the show.
Like some of these people.
So this retune, this retune, this reviews from iTunes by ALex the DMBE.
This show is a friggin blast.
The interactions of the players with the DM is hilarious and the production quality
gets amazing.
I was smiling the whole time I listened to this and laughed out loud multiple times.
Seriously, this is a hilarious show with a quick witted cast
who play off each other so well.
If you like TTRPG actual plays, this is one of the best out there.
Thank you so much.
That's an amazing review.
And let me just preface this.
I say this every time, but every single time we get a review
or anything on Facebook, it absolutely blows my mind.
It's amazing.
This review called, let's see here.
Lots of fun.
And it's by J-Man Weird.
Hey guys, F-72 was lots of fun.
We just wanted to wish you all the best with Tiamat.
Thumbs up emoji and then a egg in a frying pan emoji?
Yeah, that's like a crazy face emoji.
Oh, I just had two other small little squares,
so I could not see the other emojis.
Yeah, no, it's a crazy face, a thumbs up, bacon,
and then an egg in a frying pan.
Emojis have never spoken to me as much as they have right now.
I'm going to go into this battle with a confidence of a weird face.
Thumbs up, bacon, and a fried egg.
Good.
Sounds like a lot of confidence.
This is from Laura Ojetalo.
This is a Facebook review.
I found these guys when I realized that you can actually listen
to people playing D&D in Spotify.
I'm new to listening to any kind of podcast.
I'm a Finnish woman living and working in Spain
and found role playing in D&D here in Spain about three years ago.
Our group of D&D and role gaming is separating this spring
because some of us are moving back to Finland, which is sad.
So I started to Google the rise of Tiamat,
which Dumbgeons and Dragons Group is playing now.
We are almost at the end of Horde of the Dragon Queen with our group.
Somehow after jumping from link to link, I found them in Spotify
and it was love at first sight or maybe at first listening
or however it's supposed to be said in English.
She's correct.
There is no good way to say that in English.
She nailed it.
I started to listen then from the first episode
and I'm loving every moment of it.
I'm now on episode 32, so I'm catching up.
I'm honestly laughing out loud and really enjoying what they are doing here.
Also listening to these Canadian people does great for my English,
which I will back up because of that incredible,
very well written review.
Thank you so much.
Imagine trying to write her an amazing review.
No, I can't do it.
In her language, which is Finnish.
It wouldn't sound.
She's amazing.
It wouldn't even be intelligible at all.
But you know what is intelligible?
Sarah McWilliams who reviewed us on Facebook and she says,
this is my new obsession.
Creepy.
I like that.
I love it.
If you're a fan of D&D or just going on an adventure with four people
who will quickly feel like your best friends,
you should start listening.
Enjoy the new ear candy.
I think that part should be, if it's an obsession,
I think, sorry, let me try it again.
You should start listening.
Enjoy the new ear candy.
I like it.
So many reasons why you did these alone.
So many reasons.
It's okay though.
We're in it.
We're in it now.
Thank you to everybody who left us a review.
We really appreciate you.
You're all amazing.
If you are so inclined to write us a review,
we will gladly read it right here.
We'll do it.
We promise and swear.
We might forget about it at some point and then come back to it
because that's what we do too.
Yep.
We're slightly scatterbrained like that,
but I think it lends a certain charm.
Oh, unreliable is what they call us.
That's what they call us.
Links for all the things that we mentioned today
can be found in the description,
including our Discord, the Dumbgeons and Dragons Discord,
where patrons get exclusive channels access as well.
Everybody can just come and join and chat about the show
and about food and movies and also D&D.
And also you can join us on the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group
where we've joined up with End of Time and Other Bothers,
Dark Dice, and The Lucky Die.
And we chat all four of our shows and Dumbgeons and Dragons
and it's a great time over there in Facebook.
Final thanks to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere and music
in today's episode.
Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
to bring your games to life.
The next episode will be out next Wednesday,
March, opening a calendar, March 20th where we get to part two of Into the Well
and we get closer to the maybe Rise of Tiamat.
Oh, come on Ross, you know it's inevitable.
It's into the inevitable Rise of Tiamat.
So let's get back into the game.
Enjoy the rest of the episode.
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
I mean, I told you all it was coming.
You did.
You did say that.
Now, this is acid, not poison, correct?
This is acid.
You're wishing for poison, aren't you?
Oh, every time.
Flint, we're back to you.
Sweet.
Well, that acid bath was fun.
You have baby soft skin now, though, because that's true.
How many layers did that peel off?
Yeah.
Yeah, can I murder this guy finally?
Maybe.
We'd all like it if you did.
You also got two other dudes on you.
OK, well, it's murder time for this other dude.
So that's a 23 for the guy on the ground.
You swing your axe down almost like as he's shooting up this acid,
you're swinging your axe down.
So you take this face of acid and the axe connects with his head.
Does the acid happen to like ricochet off the axe
and hit one of the other guys that's standing nearby?
Like, I'm still taking it, but.
Sure, yeah, that'll each take some acid damage.
You don't know.
I like that.
Until you ask, right?
The acid cloud spreads to the other cultist to your side.
I'll turn to the guy on the right and give a big like overhand,
two hand chop down on him.
So that's a 27.
With your big cleave through.
12 damage.
And the acid damage he took previously, he is dismembered on the ground.
I'll spin around and some sort of, you know,
tree like chop into his midsection should do the job.
19.
Yep.
Nine damage.
Again, with the combined damage you cleave this man through.
Well, just feels like home covered in blood.
Perfect.
Before my turn ends, I'm going to use my second wind
and it's a bonus action to recover some hit points.
So it's 1d10 plus my fighter level.
Nice.
21.
It's like nothing happened.
The final winged one sets off down the hall to the right at a brisk pace.
He dashes down the hall and it is new Laura's turn.
Damn it.
Yeah.
I have fleet of foot is one of my feats.
So I can use dash as a bonus action.
So I don't know how that works.
Like, because he got a head.
Does he have a head start or can I catch him?
Yeah, you'd be there and able to swing at him with your full attacks as well.
Great.
I want to not let him alert more bad guys.
We've only made it into the entrance as a 27.
Knocking him to the ground, you catch up to him.
Seven damage.
Men are now on top of him as you take your second swing.
Only 16.
Still hits.
That one was 14 damage, which is much better.
Where do you drive your sword into this creature?
Well, he was already prone.
Yeah.
Like I knocked him down on the first one on his face.
So on his on his on his tum tum.
Oh, anything I say now feels mean.
But yeah, I guess I'm going to stab him through the neck.
Yeah.
With a gurgling mess.
You stab him through his neck and he is dead beneath your feet.
Donnie's still in the room because he obviously didn't dash with me,
but we were fighting a guy.
Yeah, there's one guy.
I like that he's just become a guy.
Just a guy.
Just a faceless, nameless guy.
16.
Yes.
And so this is just bite again.
That's five damage.
He takes a good chunk out of this man's back as he's swirling around.
And he'll do it again.
And that is a 12.
12 does not hit, no.
And it is those final cultists turns.
There are still two on Thea who you have started your turn.
So your thing comes back.
So they swing wildly at you again.
And the one that got bit by Donnie swings at Donnie,
but critically misses.
So he falls to the ground as he's thrown off bAlydince by the bite in his back.
Thea.
Thea is going to Eldritch Blast again.
No, they're the last two left, aren't they?
They're the two that are on you.
And then Donnie's fighting with one that just got knocked to the ground.
He's not dead, but there's one that got knocked.
Oh, well, I'm going to do three bolts.
So why wouldn't that one guy?
Spread the love around.
Why wouldn't I?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
So the first bolt to the one that Donnie's on top of.
Is only a 14.
We'll hit.
Okay.
Well, then I guess 20 will hit.
And as will a 26.
So they get 10.
Nice.
Seven.
Also nice.
And nine.
Damn, Amy.
Can we just play like four more sessions while Amy's rolling dice?
I know these are like the hottest her dices have been ever.
Three massive purple eldritch blasts come out from your hands
and you shoot them at these cultists
and they are blown back and into the walls.
Except for the one that's right on the ground.
And they take an extra three damage as they hit the walls
and crumple to the ground, seemingly dead.
The only uncertain one that you are aware of
is the one that you blasted that was running down the left hallway.
But otherwise, everybody else is dispatched.
Can I say walk over?
See if she can.
Stab him?
No, she doesn't, though.
She can tell if he's dead.
See if we can like talk to this dude, get some answers.
Yeah.
Can she see if he's dead?
She like lands on top of him.
Okay.
What do you want to do?
Because I want her because he's like.
He's like face down on the floor.
Yeah.
So I want her to like turn him over.
Yeah, he flops over and with a death rattle
appears to be no more in this world.
Well, I would think his horribly burnt back
would be very painful to be rolled over on too.
So he was alive.
Also, the death rattle gave it away.
Right?
Yeah.
So did one that one ran down the left hall
and the other one went down the right hall?
You chased ran down the right hall.
That doesn't tell us anything, you guys.
Tricky.
Well, except that the guy running down
the right hall probably.
Oh, I don't know.
I see we just continue right.
Guys, should we just keep going this way?
Yeah, it makes it makes sense.
Let's just be consistent.
And then if we have to backtrack, we can remember.
That was new.
We'll just come back to the room with all the bodies in it.
We won't remember.
So you continue on down the hall
and it carries on for approximately like 200 to 250 feet.
As you keep going, you hear muffled voices ahead of you.
But then it forks again.
Yulara, you can tell that the path to the right
seems to skirt along the side of the mountain.
Whereas the path to the left, you see more openings
down the hall as far as you can see.
It appears to be moving towards the center of the volcano.
Which way do you think we should go, Yulara?
Well, if we go right, which we literally just said
was what we were going to keep doing,
it all seems like it kind of keeps us around
the perimeter a bit more.
If we go left, that's heading in.
But it seems like there's a lot more tunnel options in there,
which means things are going to get more complicated.
But do we think he's near the center?
If I were an evil dude trying to raise a fucking dragon lady,
I'd want to be around a volcano center.
Me too.
He can have the most people between him
and the outside protecting him.
And if they're drawing on the elements as well,
I mean, you'd want to be near the center.
Yeah.
So left?
Left it is.
You begin moving down the hall
and there are multiple openings the further down you go.
The first pair you come to, it splits off left and right.
You hear as you approach muffled voices to your left.
Can I get real close up against the wall
and try to listen and know what they're saying?
Does Thea have a cup that she can put up against the wall?
Could I get guacamole since we talk palatathically?
Shut up, Tom.
Telepathically.
I said that.
She is keen hearing and sight.
She has, like on perception checks, she has advantage.
She speaks common to me.
My mind?
Yeah, absolutely.
She does.
She does not, however, speak draconic.
She just sends me pictures of like dragon, dragon, dragon.
Pictograms, dragon.
Can I make a perception check of listening real hard?
How close are you getting to this opening
as you go before you start making these checks?
Because that's also going to determine like stealth rules and stuff.
Right now, you're about 60 feet down the hall
before the first openings.
And it's low muffled rumblings.
You can't really hear anything more than the...
I changed my mind.
I don't want to...
I think we should just keep going, guys.
Yeah.
Like if Severin's the goal, like we think he's in, let's go.
Eyes on the prize.
Okay, so we're walking past these openings, yes?
Quickly.
In a sneaky way.
I feel bad about it now, but yes.
Everybody make a stealth check.
Damn it, I didn't want a stealth check.
Fuck, I got a nine.
I got a 16.
Well, I got an eight, so...
That's not just me.
As you're walking by, Flint nimblefootedly is skipping ahead.
I feel like he's doing like cartwheels, like ha, ha.
Amazingly, his armor is making little to no noise in this moment.
It's amazing.
Nularaaaa, you look to the left as you go,
and you lock eyes with the room of cultists who are staring back at you.
Thea, you look to the right and you see an empty chamber
that is soaked in the corners with blood and bile.
And it looks like it is where the prisoners may have been kept.
As the cultists stand up from the table they're at
and draw their weapons charging towards you,
we find ourselves back outside.
The battle for Faerun and all of Toriel raging on.
Persons on all sides dropping to the ground,
sacrificing their lives for what they believe.
When we look, we see the cyclone growing stronger above the Well of Dragons.
Faint, light auras can be seen leaving the deceased bodies from the battlefield,
rising up into the sky and into the heart of the cyclone.
Some of the music in today's episode is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
and Scott Buckley at scottbuckley.com.au.
Can I ask a question?
No.
No, the question period has passed.
No, I was with the P time.
That was not the time to ask questions.
And you hear them talking about how they have the...
They have the...
Why is the word leaving me?
Don't, no, just wait.
It's an easy word.
Yeah, it's that timer that turns the hour glass.
It's not an hour that you couldn't even think of the word.
The joke would have been better had I could have thought of it.
It's the timer.
It's so much better that you didn't remember.
Something about that word.
True to form.
The damage is absorbed into the...
That's not a shield.
The sheep?
The armor of invulnerability.
She says a sheep that's just like...
I call out guacamole.
Okay.
I need you, girl.
Oh, God.
She somehow turned into a dove.
One of them strikes you with a natural 20 and you will take 12.
12 slashing damage.
What did you roll to hit me?
A natural 20.
Well, I don't like that.
That's what I said.
Hits you with a natural 20.
I don't like it.
This is how much I listen to Russ when he speaks.
Yeah, but what did you roll?
Sorry, I just went...
For real, I'm going to need to know what you roll.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.